Ok, where do I begin? I have definately not been faithful in keeping up with this and even with keeping up with my Bible reading. Yes, I am human but that is not excuse. I am a follower of Christ therefore my desire should be to spend time in His word and with Him in prayer. Yet, I have failed miserably again. How can one have the desire to serve God with all they have? I have the desire to have that desire but the desire isn't there. I know that this is something that I need to work on. Something that takes perseverence. I know that I need enfouragement and reminders to do these things.
I cannot tell you how many times I have fallen flat on my face and God was right there to pick me up. How great His love is for us yet we cannot seem to even care a little. Sometimes we just need to be reminded that our Jesus came to earth from His perfect home, died a sinners death, and was gloriously raised form the dead. I don't think we always take into account the brutality of what He actually went through for us. If we really understood and dwelt on it I think that our mindsets may change. His love covers all-that does not mean that we can abuse it-as I have done so many times.
I know what is right, I have studied the Bible, I have grown up in church, but that is not enough. I have to stop going through the motions. I have to fight for my life. This time I am determined to win the battle-or at least keep a leg up.
I know that there are no excuses for some of the things that I have done. I do feel though that some of them have stemmed from a lack of self-worth. I have always felt that I am not good enough to deserve love-from anyone. I cared so much about pleasing people that it just turned into a big old mess. I need to focus on pleasing one person-God.
Galatians 1:10 says, For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to pleas man? If I were still trying to please man, I would be no servant of Christ.
This verse has been on my mind alot lately. I too often seek the approval of man-whether christian or non-christian. Part of me feels like I need to remove myself from all that I know to focus on Christ. Am I strong enough for this? Not at all, not by myself at least. With God's help thought I know that I will make it through. For those of you who know me personally, if I seem distant just know that it is but for a while. I am trying to figure some things out in my life so bare with me. My prayers are with you all.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Long overdue...
I know that I really haven't been faithful in this like in the beginning and I only have one person to blame-myself. To be perfectly honest God has become last on my priorities list when I know that He should be first. So I decided that today Im going to pick myself up and dust myself off and dive in head first. There is no day like the present am I right?
Here's an analogy that keeps running through my head: you know when you have a library book and you loose it or just forget about it? Well, then it doesn't get turned back in in time. When you don't get it turned back in on time then you get charged a late fee. Here's where this is going: It's the same way when you forget(or don't make time for) God. Yes, He is still there waiting to be in the forfront of your mind but the consequences of the time you wasted can never be regained. I don't really know if that made sense but I feel like God has been an overdue library book in my life. I know He's there. I know I need to spend time with Him. Yet, He is still 'sitting on the shelf' in my life.
So, today is a new day and I'm starting fresh. I am really going to need God these next few weeks as my life is going to get crazy. It still amazes me how patient our God is with us(me). I am very stubborn and hard headed, this makes it hard for me to change my mind once it's set on something. When I get hurt I shut down. It's just how I deal, but it's not good b/c the first person who seems to get shut out of my life is God. Even though I know in my mind that He is the one I should run to in those instances.
Well, those are my thoughts for right now. Hope ya'll have a blessed week.
Here's an analogy that keeps running through my head: you know when you have a library book and you loose it or just forget about it? Well, then it doesn't get turned back in in time. When you don't get it turned back in on time then you get charged a late fee. Here's where this is going: It's the same way when you forget(or don't make time for) God. Yes, He is still there waiting to be in the forfront of your mind but the consequences of the time you wasted can never be regained. I don't really know if that made sense but I feel like God has been an overdue library book in my life. I know He's there. I know I need to spend time with Him. Yet, He is still 'sitting on the shelf' in my life.
So, today is a new day and I'm starting fresh. I am really going to need God these next few weeks as my life is going to get crazy. It still amazes me how patient our God is with us(me). I am very stubborn and hard headed, this makes it hard for me to change my mind once it's set on something. When I get hurt I shut down. It's just how I deal, but it's not good b/c the first person who seems to get shut out of my life is God. Even though I know in my mind that He is the one I should run to in those instances.
Well, those are my thoughts for right now. Hope ya'll have a blessed week.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
It still amazes me...
It still amazes me how God works in our lives. He always seems to put what we need right in front of us.
"I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate."
Romans 7:15
This is the verse of my life lately. Crazy how we discussed it in Bible study this morning :) Even though I know what I should do-I struggle to do it. Evev though I might not want to do something that is the exact thing that I end up doing. If we were not carnal "of the flesh" then would we need a Savior? The christian life is something that is not easy-that's for sure. Even though it is not easy, is it worth it? No doubt! Even though we face tough times in our lives what we have in the end is worth so much more.
Verse 18 goes on to say, "For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out."
Something I struggle with is relying on someone else. This is exactly what I need to do though. I need to rely on God to help me make it through everyday. I need to give up control because I cannot do it by myself. I need a Savior. I would think that, even someone as stubborn as myself, I would have learned by now. Yet it is something I struggle with everyday.
"I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate."
Romans 7:15
This is the verse of my life lately. Crazy how we discussed it in Bible study this morning :) Even though I know what I should do-I struggle to do it. Evev though I might not want to do something that is the exact thing that I end up doing. If we were not carnal "of the flesh" then would we need a Savior? The christian life is something that is not easy-that's for sure. Even though it is not easy, is it worth it? No doubt! Even though we face tough times in our lives what we have in the end is worth so much more.
Verse 18 goes on to say, "For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out."
Something I struggle with is relying on someone else. This is exactly what I need to do though. I need to rely on God to help me make it through everyday. I need to give up control because I cannot do it by myself. I need a Savior. I would think that, even someone as stubborn as myself, I would have learned by now. Yet it is something I struggle with everyday.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
So, obviously I have been lacking in posting new entries. I have been lacking in quite a few areas of my life recently the big one being spending time with God. Even though I know it in my mind that it is vital to spend time with my Savior still I struggle with it. Yesterday was definately not my finest day. It just seemed like everything was going wrong and every little thing was getting on my nerves. I was reminded, ever so gently, that we do serve a purposeful God and that when we see nothing He could see a million things. This is probably one of my new favorite quotes. Our God knows what He is doing. We go through things only to make us stronger. I was trying to figure out why everything seemed to just be rubbing me the wrong way and why I just wanted to give up on everything when just a few weeks ago I had everything to live for. The answer: time with God. I can't tell you (and I am speaking to myself here) how important it is that we spend quality time with Him every single day. I can just see it in my life when I don't and I don't like how life is without Him. I know that I stumble but I know that God is patient and always ready to take me back.
Now, onto another topic: can we ever see ourselves the way that God sees us? How can we see others the way that God sees them? I have been talking quite a bit with a friend about how as humans it is hard for us to see ourselves as worthy, or beautiful, or amazing , or whatever else. This friend offered a suggestion as to why we might not be able to see ourselves as such-because as humans we see our flaws. We see the things that we keep hidden from the world. Then there is something inside us that reminds us of these things and we think how can we be worthy of all that Christ has to offer. Or a big one for me, "How can someone love me knowing the things I have done and the things that I have thought?" This friend I care about very much and I think is one of the most genuine, wise, on fire for God, thoughtful, caring and over-all just amazing person. Yet has a hard time seeing that in himself. How can I see the things that he can't. How can he see things in my that I can't? I don't have all the answers but I think that a big one is that we both love God and we try and see the world the way that God sees it. It is just hard for us to see ourselves through God's eyes. How do you think that, in Gesesis, when it talking about how we are created in the image of God relates to this? I know that we are not made perfect but by the sacrifice that Jesus made on the cross we are made clean. Our sins are forgotten and forgiven. Why is this concept so hard for humans to grasp? Do you think that if we completely grasped this subject we would feel the need to rely on Him? I would love to hear your thoughts on this. So please leave comments. I love reading them, even if you totally disagree with what I have to say. How can I learn if I don't know?
Now, onto another topic: can we ever see ourselves the way that God sees us? How can we see others the way that God sees them? I have been talking quite a bit with a friend about how as humans it is hard for us to see ourselves as worthy, or beautiful, or amazing , or whatever else. This friend offered a suggestion as to why we might not be able to see ourselves as such-because as humans we see our flaws. We see the things that we keep hidden from the world. Then there is something inside us that reminds us of these things and we think how can we be worthy of all that Christ has to offer. Or a big one for me, "How can someone love me knowing the things I have done and the things that I have thought?" This friend I care about very much and I think is one of the most genuine, wise, on fire for God, thoughtful, caring and over-all just amazing person. Yet has a hard time seeing that in himself. How can I see the things that he can't. How can he see things in my that I can't? I don't have all the answers but I think that a big one is that we both love God and we try and see the world the way that God sees it. It is just hard for us to see ourselves through God's eyes. How do you think that, in Gesesis, when it talking about how we are created in the image of God relates to this? I know that we are not made perfect but by the sacrifice that Jesus made on the cross we are made clean. Our sins are forgotten and forgiven. Why is this concept so hard for humans to grasp? Do you think that if we completely grasped this subject we would feel the need to rely on Him? I would love to hear your thoughts on this. So please leave comments. I love reading them, even if you totally disagree with what I have to say. How can I learn if I don't know?
Monday, September 28, 2009
Instruments of wickedness
Romans 6:12-14
12Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. 13Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness. 14For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace.
Some of my favorite verses in the Bible right now. These are some of the most convicting and encouraging verses. "Do not let sin reign in your mortal body." No sin. None. Sin can be controling. You can become slave to it. No part of our body is to sin. Matthew 5:29-30 says, "29If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell." Therefore we need to get rid of everyting in our lives that causes us to sin. We, being human, will not be able to fully accomplish this. It is something to strive for though. Then Romans goes on to say that we have been brought from death to life. God has saved us and provided a way for us to stay away from sin. This sould be a desire of ours as Christians, to stay away from sin. And the best part of this passage (in my opinion) is that we "are not under las, but under grace." How good is it to know that God has given us grace? I hate to think of where we'd be without it.
12Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. 13Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness. 14For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace.
Some of my favorite verses in the Bible right now. These are some of the most convicting and encouraging verses. "Do not let sin reign in your mortal body." No sin. None. Sin can be controling. You can become slave to it. No part of our body is to sin. Matthew 5:29-30 says, "29If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell." Therefore we need to get rid of everyting in our lives that causes us to sin. We, being human, will not be able to fully accomplish this. It is something to strive for though. Then Romans goes on to say that we have been brought from death to life. God has saved us and provided a way for us to stay away from sin. This sould be a desire of ours as Christians, to stay away from sin. And the best part of this passage (in my opinion) is that we "are not under las, but under grace." How good is it to know that God has given us grace? I hate to think of where we'd be without it.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
God's amazing grace
I was told yesterday that I need to find something in me to change for. Not something of this world that can be taken from me. I was given this verse: John 3:19-20) "And this is the judgement: the light has come into the world and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light lest his works should be exposed." This made me angry at the one who gave this verse to me. Was he in fact telling me that I was living in darkness therefore Christ could not be glorified in my life? I don't know but that is how I took it. After I got over being mad I asked, "Was he right? Do I still need to get rid of some things in my life?" Well, the answer was yes. I still have alot of things to work out in my life. I am so thankful that we serve a forgiving and patient God.
Then this morning at Bible Study we were in Romans 6. Verses 15 and 16 says, "What then? Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace? By no means! Don't you know that when you offer yourselves to someone to obey him as slaves, you are slaves to the one whom you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness?" I love how God knows that I am slow to learn and that I need repetition. I know that I need to die to myself daily so that He may be glorified through my life. Then why is it so difficult?
We also talked about progressive sanctification. (Sanctification is the act of being set apart for God) We take 3 steps forward and 2 steps back. Sometimes I take 7 or 8 steps back :) still the fact that we get up and dust ourselves off is a vital part of the process. It is good to know that I am not alone in this struggle of trying to be set apart for Him.
Then this morning at Bible Study we were in Romans 6. Verses 15 and 16 says, "What then? Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace? By no means! Don't you know that when you offer yourselves to someone to obey him as slaves, you are slaves to the one whom you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness?" I love how God knows that I am slow to learn and that I need repetition. I know that I need to die to myself daily so that He may be glorified through my life. Then why is it so difficult?
We also talked about progressive sanctification. (Sanctification is the act of being set apart for God) We take 3 steps forward and 2 steps back. Sometimes I take 7 or 8 steps back :) still the fact that we get up and dust ourselves off is a vital part of the process. It is good to know that I am not alone in this struggle of trying to be set apart for Him.
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